"i'd rather die."

--ngoc, while watching a commercial with elderly people riding in hoveround scooters

it's okay, we're not online. i can tell sarcasm.

-ben

"you know what's golden? the sound of three stoners walking in total silence."

"yeah."

-ben, then miguel and sam, after cbcc

ow! i should've waited the 1 to 2 minutes.

--ngoc, 1 to 2 minutes too early

i don't do 'let stand 1 to 2 minutes.' i usually skip straight to 'stir and enjoy.'

--ngoc, on her microwave dinner

happy fucking bastille day.

--sam

yeah i am on 50wordsorless a lot

--ngoc

you can't NOT be a jackass and not win!

--ngoc

i said it out loud while i was typing it.

--mig

can I put THAT on there? well i guess you didn't say it.

--sam

you shoulda had something about bryan blythe on there. how i'd come on his face every day.

--mig

me too!

--will mcnair, on being told someone wants a new duvet cover

they don't like small people or gay people. they suck.

--ngoc, on the red cross and their blood donation policies

do you want me to pull out before you get in?

--cris, on the best way for me to get into her "parked car"

well that's pretty much the idea behind redecorating. if i build it, they will cum.

--will mcnair, regarding his purchase of a new queen-sized mattress for "extracurricular" purposes