suicide!

--dave, guessing ngoc's pictionary sketch

it's like sex, but poorly drawn

--ngoc, on amber's pictionary sketch

oh, you'll be coming soon...

-dave, responding to a 16-year-old girl yelling, "i'm coming!" to her friends, after about an hour of our talking shamelessly and loudly about the high school students at the other end of our campgrounds

4:20!

-jordan, responding to the shark alert sirens going off at stinson beach

on a scale of 1 to 9.8.

-dave

on what scale?

-sam

i don't think there's anyone as attractive as me. i'm like a 9.8.

-dave

oh!

-daisuke, responding to "you'd be fun to fuck"

ahhhh.

-robert lanzafame, barely skirting death on a skateboard

they should make corn-flavored condoms.

-wolfman, while chewing on a corn-dog

if it [riverside] did have feelings, they would've all been crushed already with the crap that's in riverside right now. it's a face only a mother can love.

-dave-bro, soon-to-be uc riverside graduate